Dr. Ward spoke this to our Deuteronomy and Ethics class this past week in his morning devotion. Since I wasn’t in class due to being sick, my roommate thought it was especially pertinent since she and I have finally chosen which graduate school we will attend in the Fall….

It’s Not What or Where, but How

“Today, I realized that the questions of where to live and what to do is really insignificant compared to the question of how to keep the eyes of my heart focused on the LORD. I can be teaching at Yale, working in the bakery at the Genesee Abbey, or walking around with poor children in Peru and feel totally useless, miserable, and depressed in all these situations. I am sure of it, because it has happened. There is not such thing as the right place or the right job. I can be happy and unhappy in situations of abundance as well as poverty, in situations of popularity as well as anonymity, in situations of success as well as failure. The difference was never based on th situation itself, but always on the state of my mind and my heart. When I knew I was walking with the LORD, I always felt happy and at peace. When I was entangled with my own complaints and emotional needs, I always felt restless and divided.

            It is a common truth that comes to me in a time when I have to decide about my future. Coming to Lima for five, ten, or twenty years is not a great decision. Turning fully, unconditionally, and without fear to the LORD is.” -Henri Nouwen when trying to decide whether he should go to Lima, Peru or not.

Either I’ve been completely oblivious to it or so inundated with it that I have become numb to it.

It seems “normal.”

I think if you and I were honest with one another about where were we’d been, we’d soon learn that while we have said (or maybe are saying, currently) we believe in God…we have lived life as if we were functional deists. Yes, God is there. Yes, I believe in His existence. Beyond that….I. Don’t. Care.

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   “If you read history you will find that the Christians who did  most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this.” –C.S. Lewis

Have the perspective of  Heaven in everything.

May we be effective in what the Lord has for us.

This summer wouldn’t be ’summer’ if I didn’t have a long, and constantly adding to, list of books I hope to read.

Some of the books I’ve been working through:

John Piper’s Future Grace  

Bruce Shelley’s Church History in Plain Language

Ed Welch When People are Big and God is Small

C.S. Lewis‘ Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Henri Nouwen’s The Wounded Healer

All of these books have been so rich and have been such an encouragement to me this summer. Yes, I know, its absurd. Someone shouldn’t be reading this many books but…its the story of my life. I can’t just read one book. That’s just boring and my A.D.D. can’t handle it.

Anyways, wanted to share a quote from Nouwen’s, The Wounded Healer. It is taken from the last chapter, Ministry by a lonely minister, and is so deep and rich. I would highly recommend this book to anyone in ministry or just seeking to love people like Jesus. One thing that Nouwen talks about is the fact that we are all broken and its in the midst of all of it that we seek to reach out and touch the wounds of others  and in so doing show our own set of wounds and scars and proclaim the name of Jesus.

Therefore I would like to voice loudly and clearly what might seem unpopular and maybe even disturbing: the Christian way of life does not take away our loneliness; it protects and cherishes it as a precious gift.  Sometimes it seems as if we do everything possible to avoid the painful confrontation with our basic human loneliness, and allow ourselves to be trapped by false gods promising immediate satisfaction and quick relief. But perhaps the painful awareness of loneliness is an invitation to transcend our limitations and look beyond the boundaries of our existence. The awareness of loneliness might be a gift we must protect and guard, because our loneliness reveals to us an inner emptiness that can be destructive when misunderstood, but filled with promise for him who can tolerate its sweet pain.

“I admit that this means loving people who have nothing lovable about them. But then, has oneself anything lovable about it? You love it simply because it is yourself. God intends us to love all selves in the same way because it is yourself. God intends us to love all selves in the same way and for the same reason: but He has given us the sum ready worked out in our own case to show us how it works. We have then to go on and apply the rule to all the other selves. Perhaps it makes it easier if we remember that that is how He loves us. Not for any nice, attractive qualities we think we have, but just because we are the things called selves. For really there is nothing else in us to love: creatures like us who actually find hatred such a pleasure that to give it up is like giving up beer or tobacco…” –ch. 7, forgiveness from mere christianity.

As I sat in my inklings class thumbing through my worn copy of Lewis’ Mere Christianity, I came across this deeply, deeply profound quote. It is something that I needed to hear with all of the mess going on in the hall, recently. That I am called to extend love to the girls on my hall who are being bratty, rude, or maybe they even seem unlovable. I am called to love them because really, I am unlovable but Jesus truly and authentically loves me, daily. I am praying that the Lord would use me to extend this kind of transforming love to the girls on my hall…to the ones who need it the most.

at the beginning of this semester, my r.d. gave me some notecards that were filled with encouragement from past r.a.’s in my building and i found this one to be such a great encouragement…

“Our sin is much bigger than we think it is, but God’s grace is far greater than we could ever imagine it to be. You will realize both of these this year–throw yourself upon the grace of Jesus.” 

This is taken from Chapter 12: The (true) story of the cross from Tim Keller’s A Reason for God. I’m reading it for my outreach to contemporary culture class and it has been a sweet read and great discussion. check it out…

 ”Forgiveness must be granted before it can be felt, but it does come eventually. It leads to a new peace, a resurrection. It is the only way to stop the spread of the evil.”

As a youth ministry staff we are reading through Holiness by Grace by Bryan Chapell. We had to read the introduction and first chapter and write a 1 page response by today, Tuesday. In order to prepare and make sure I actually got it done, I went to a local coffee shop off of Cedar Springs–Buli.  I really love their chai and carmel latte’s and the atmosphere is so chill. To help you better understand why I am laughing right now even as I write this…picture this image… (continue reading…)

here is a quote from a book I will be studying over the next month or so, Future Grace by John Piper. I’ll be posting in the coming weeks on what I’m learning and also posting my notes. Until then…

“The effort to repay God, in the ordinary way we pay creditors, would nullify grace and turn it into a business transaction. If we see acts of obedience as installment payments, we make grace into a mortgage…Let us not say that grace creates debt; let us say that grace pays debt (p. 44). ”

“Past grace is glorified by intense and joyful gratitude. Future grace is glorified by intense and joyful confidence. This faith is what frees us and empowers us for venturesome obedience in the cause of Christ (p. 47).”

“When we are willing to confess that we often hand those we love over to suffering, even against our best intentions, we will be more ready to forgive those who, mostly against their will, are the causes of our pain.” -Henri Nouwen